The last couple of months I’ve felt the urge to write down my birth story and it’s finally here! Honestly Isameya’s birth was pretty quick but this turned out to be a long read … So get yourself some tea, cuddle up and share your experience in the comments. I’d love to read all about it!
Six months ago I became a mom. Actually I already was a mom with Isameya in my belly, but after she left my womb things got very very real. And well damn, mom life makes things change real quick. But that’s a different story (this will probably end up being a book, haha).
Today feels like a good moment to look back on that day in July when I discovered what primal force truly means. And that this so called ‘ring of fire’ is a very weak description for how you really feel. Man, that sh*t hurt!
But let’s ease into things … just like I did when my contractions started. I woke up around six in the morning with some light pains in my lower belly. It felt like my period, but a very light one. For some reason I instantly knew that this was the start of my labor. This gave me an instant adrenaline boost that made sleeping impossible. So I decided to get up.
I changed my bed for my couch and made myself some breakfast. My big tea mug accompanied me and moments later Stefano joined the couch party too. The pain I felt continued to be minimal, but the contractions seemed to come more often. I remember thinking: If this is it, giving birth will be so easy (spoiler: I was wrong!).
After a while I decided to download an app to monitor my contractions. When they came with just two minutes in between I decided to call my midwife. About 45 minutes later, around 1 o’clock in the afternoon, she arrived. After a check she said: ‘Womb is still fully closed, this is gonna take a while’. Hello reality check.
Her advice? Find yourself something to do. Take a walk. Watch a movie. And don’t focus on the clock too much. Ten minutes after she left I felt like I wanted to scream. The pain changed from mild to intense quite suddenly. After an hour I cursed like it was my dayjob. Appearantly my midwifes examination inspired my cervix to open up …
Stefano, still next to me on the couch, took naps and I started to worry. If this was the real start of the contractions, what would be next? In my mind all I could think was: I want my mommy! I decided that I would aks her to come over if the next check would show minimal progress.
When I got to the point of constant cursing and moaning, around 3 in the afternoon, we decided to call the midwife again. I was hesitant because she had told me that it would take much longer. Because she didn’t expect big changes she took her time and arrived an hour later.
Shortly after her arrival things got a bit panicky. Turned out I was almost 6 centimeters dilated. Because of my weight they had already advised me to deliver in a hospital (home deliveries are pretty common in NL). So we had to find ourselves a cab real quick! Every couple of minutes I got heavy cramps that made it impossible for me to move. I don’t know how I managed to get off the stairs, walked passed a full terrace and found my way to the cab, but I did it. When I was about to get into the car I felt the urge to push for the first time. But I wasn’t allowed to do that yet, so I needed to not think about pushing. I can tell you that this is really hard.
Driving to the hospital seemed to take forever. Later on Stefano told me the driver didn’t choose the shortest route and that he was about to slap him but he didn’t because he didn’t want me to lose it.
Two minutes to five I arrived in my delivery room. The nurse suggested that I’d take a shower. I felt like this was a great idea so I got myself wet. The warm water was really soothing. I did feel the head sort of banging against my punani with every contraction. I wanted to push so badly that I almost ripped Stefano’s arm off (sorry love).
About ten minutes later my midwife arrived in my delivery room too. Pretty quick she told me to get out of the shower into the bed because I would otherwise give birth in the bathroom. I was like: Wait whut?! I looked at the bed and wondered how I was going to get there, it felt impossible but I did it anyway. Moments later it turned out I was fully dilated. At 5.35 in the afternoon I was ready to push …
A friend told me that I would feel it burn when the end – of the delivery LOL – was near. Well that was a lie! MY PUNANI WAS ON FIRE! The ring of fire is what they call it. Because of the pain I couldn’t feel what I was doing anymore. But luckily my midwife could help figuring out in what direction I had to push. Suddenly she said: ‘Mayra, I need your baby to be out within two pushes otherwise I have to get a doctor’. Ehhhh what?!
I wanted to get back to pushing when Stefano said: ‘I have to pee’. DUUUUUDDDEEE … My midwife looked at him and said: ‘If you don’t move fast you’re gonna miss the birth’. Weirdly enough I didn’t feel the need to push when Stefano was away. When he got back into the room I launched Isameya into this world. All at once.
BAM. There she was. Isameya Yade, born on July 16th at 5.47 in the afternoon. She turned out to be very territorial cause she pied on my belly almost immediatly. Marked: mommy. Holy fuck I’m a mom, I thought when I looked at her. My punani felt like it had been blown away completely. I was waiting for a ‘by the way you do not have a normal pussy anymore’ comment, but it turned out that I needed just two small stitches.
I would almost forget, after the delivery the placenta still had to come out. Because it all went so fast I got an oxytocine shot. Pushing out the placenta wasn’t that hard luckily. After that I needed to get my stitches and trust me, you do not want to be touched down other at the moment. But you have to. So buckle up and breathe.
In the meantime Isameya got checked and dressed. Her temperature was 0,1 point too low but if she would warm up just a little bit in the next hour we were free to go home. I was like: Go home? Already? Are you nuts? The nurse saw my face and asked if I’d like to chill a bit and have some food. I said yes and gave myself two hours to relax. I was a bit shaky after it all. About two hours later I showered and got dressed with the help of the nurse. I was so damn tired.
Moments later I was in a wheelchair with my little girl in a maxicosy on my lap. I saw lots of surprised faces. The receptionist said: ‘Are you already done?’. What I thought myself turned out to be true: this was a crazy fast delivery.
It was 9.15 when we sat on the couch at home. All I could think was: What the hell just happened? It went so fast. But I also realised that I didn’t have anything to complain about, this was basically a dream delivery.
Now, six months later, I feel good looking back on my delivery. It’s true that you forget the intensity of the pain, a bit. And because I had such a fast childbirth it was all very doable. But thinking about 24 hours of this pain sounds like hell. That’s why I’m very thankful that I got to do it this way.
A little side note to end my childbirth story: Isameya was born exactly one year after Stefano and I met each other. Yup, our little girl has a sense of timing …
Keep on shining,
Pictures: Aline Bouma